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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Akal wanita senipis rambutnya.


Jangankan lelaki biasa,nabi pun terasa sunyi tanpa wanita.
Tanpa mereka, fikiran dan perasaan lelaki akan resah.
Masih mencari walau ada segalanya.
Apa yang tiada dalam syurga?
Namun adam tetap rindukan hawa.


Dijadikan wanita daripada tulang rusuk yang bengkok.
Untuk diluruskan oleh lelaki.
Tetapi seandainya lelaki itu sendiri tidak lurus,
Mana mungkin kayu yang bengkok menghasilkan bayang yang lurus.


Di situlah punca kekuatan  dunia.

Akal senipis rambutnya, tebalkanlah ia dengan ilmu.
Hati serapuh kaca, kuatkanlah ia dengan iman...
Perasaan selembut sutera, hiasilah ia dengan akhlak.
Suburkanlah ia kerana dari situlah nantinya...
Mereka akan lihat nilaian dan keadilan Rab...
Bisikkan ke telinga mereka bahawa kelembutan bukan suatu kelemahan..
Ia bukan diskriminasi Allah...sebaliknya di situlah kasih dan sayang
Allah...

Wanita yang lupa hakikat kejadiannya...
Pasti tidak akan terhibur, dan tidak akan menghiburkan...
Tanpa iman, ilmu dan akhlak..mereka tidak akan lurus...
Bahkan akan semakin membengkok...
Itulah hakikatnya andai wanita tidak kenal Rabbnya...
Bila wanita menjadi derhaka...pasti dunia lelaki akan menjadi huru hara....

Lelaki pula janganlah mengharapkan ketaatan semata-mata.! ..
Tapi binalah kepimpinan...
Pastikan sebelum wanita menuju ilahi, pimpinlah diri kepadanya...
Jinakkan diri kepada allah...
Nescaya akan jinaklah segala-galanya di bawah pimpinanmu...


Janganlah mengharapkan isteri semulia Fatimah Az-Zahra'
Seandainya dirimu tidak sehebat Saidina Ali karamallahuwajhah

Luruskanlah wanita dengan jalan yang ditunjuk oleh Allah,
Kerana mereka diciptakan sebegitu rupa oleh Allah.
Didiklah mereka dengan panduan darinya.
Jangan cuba menjinakkan mereka dengan harta, kerana nantinya mereka semakin liar.
Janganlah hiburkan mereka dengan kecantikan, kerana nantinya mereka akan semakin derita
.
Kenalkan mereka kepada Allah, zat yang kekal.

penulis:

ya diriku tidak semulia Fatimah Az Zahra, apa yang ku mampu hanya cuba menjadi seorang wanita sebaik mungkin, masih banyak yang ku perlu pelajari, ilmu didada ini sangat cetek...Ya Allah....diriku hanya insan yang lemah...wanita yang sentiasa terbawa-bawa dengan perasaan, maafkan hambamu ini Ya Allah...dan diri ini tahu juga yang diri ini tidak akan jumpa lelaki sehebat Saidina Ali karamallahuwajhah....cuma yang mampu didoakan agar jika ada insan halal yang diciptakan untukku, harap dia mampu mendidikku, membimbingku setakat mana yang dia mampu, menjagaku setakat mana yang dia mampu dan juga mampu menyayangi diriku kerana Allah s.w.t, ya kerana mu ya Allah...Amin amin ya rabbalalamin....29/11/2005

Monday, November 28, 2005

Terkena Api Di Kuburan

Terkena Api Di Kuburan Renungan dan Iktibar

"Diceritakan dari Ibnu Hajar bahawa serombongan orang dari kalangan Tabi'in pergi berziarah ke rumah Abu Sinan. Baru sebentar mereka di rumah itu, Abu Sinan telah mengajak mereka untuk berziarah ke rumah jirannya.

"Mari ikut saya ke rumah jiran untuk mengucapkan ta'ziah atas kematian saudaranya." kata Abu Sinan kepada tetamunya.

Sesampainya di sana, mereka mendapati saudara si mati sentiasa menangis kerana terlalu sedih. Para tetamu telah berusaha menghibur dan memujuknya agar jangan menangis, tapi tidak berjaya.

"Apakah kamu tidak tahu bahawa kematian itu suatu perkara yang mesti dijalani oleh setiap orang?" tanya para tetamu.

"Itu aku tahu. Akan tetapi aku sangat sedih kerana memikirkan seksa yang telah menimpa saudaraku itu." jawabnya.

"Apakah engkau mengetahui perkara yang ghaib?"

"Tidak. Akan tetapi ketika aku menguburkannya dan meratakan tanah di atasnya telah terjadi sesuatu yang menakutkan. Ketika itu orang-orang telah pulang, tapi aku masih duduk di atas kuburnya. Tiba-tiba terdengar suara dari dalam kubur "Ah....ah....Mereka tinggalkan aku seorang diri menanggung seksa. Padahal aku mengerjakan puasa dan solat".

Jeritan itu betul-betul membuatku menangis kerana kasihan. Aku cuba menggali kuburnya semula kerana ingin tahu apa yang sudah terjadi di dalamnya. Ternyata kuburan itu telah penuh dengan api dan di leher si mayat ada rantai dari api. Kerana kasihan kepada saudara, aku cuba untuk melepaskan rantai itu dari lehernya. Apabila aku hulurkan tangan untuk
membukanya, tanganku terbakar."

Lelaki itu menunjukkan tangannya yang masih hitam dan mengelupas kulitnya kerana kesan api dari dalam kubur kepada tetamu. Dia meneruskan ceritanya: "Aku terus menimbus kubur itu semula dan pulang dengan segera. Bagaimana kami tidak akan menangis apabila mengingati keadaan itu?"

"Apa yang biasa dilakukan oleh saudaramu ketika di dunia?" tanya teman-teman Abu Sinan.

"Dia tidak mengeluarkan zakat hartanya." jawabnya.

Dengan jawapan ini, teman-teman Abu Sinan membuat kesimpulan tentang kebenaran ayat Suci Al-Quran surah Ali Imran yang ertinya: "Janganlah mereka yang bakhil itu menyangka terhadap rezeki yang diberikan oleh Allah kepada mereka bahawa kebakhilan itu baik bagi mereka.

Sebenarnya kebakhilan itu buruk bagi mereka. Harta yang mereka bakhilkan itu akan dikalungkan kelak di lehernya di hari kiamat."
(Ali Imran, 180)
=====================================================

Sucikanlah 4 hal dengan 4 perkara :
"Wajahmu dengan linangan air mata keinsafan,
Lidahmu basah dengan berzikir kepada Penciptamu,
Hatimu takut dan gementar kepada kehebatan Rabbmu,
..dan dosa-dosa yang silam di sulami dengan taubat kepada Dzat yang Memiliki mu."

"sampaikanlah walau satu ayat" al hadis - LAA HAULAWALA QUWWATAILLA BILLAH -

bile pelajar aliran sains bercintan.........

Aku : Kasihku, ketumpatan cintaku padamu ialah jisim hatiku di bahagi isipadu jantungku. Masihkah kau tidak membuat sebarang anggapan??

Kau : Aku tidak percaya kepadamu kerana kau ada kekasih baru untuk menjalankan tindak balas penggantian ke atas diriku.

Aku : Kau jangan salah ertikan kecerunan garis lurus hatiku ini, kerana aku dan dia masih lagi unsur dan bukannya sebatian.



Kau : Tapi, aku berasa seperti kasihmu berkadar songsang dengan
kesetiaan yg kuberikan.

Aku : Tapi, cintaku padamu adalah pemalar!

Kau : Aku masih belum mengerti lagi kerana penyelesaian yang kau
berikan masih lagi belum sahih.

Aku : Tapi, aku mengamalkan hukum newton ketiga di mana tindak
balas cintaku bersamaan dengan cinta yg kau berikan.

Kau : Kau jangan bohong! Aku telah mengetahui bahawa kau adalah
'random' yg mempunyai janji-janji manis yg bergerak secara rawak.

Aku : Itu adalah fitnah yg telah tersebar melalui proses
pencaran dan perolakan.

Kau : Tetapi, mengapa kau membuat tempoh perkahwinan
kita mengalami rintangan?

Aku: Aku harus menggunakan perintang boleh laras
untuk mengurangkan rintangan itu.

Kau: Adakah kita akan berpadu secara kimia?

Aku: Itu masih belum diketahui, tetapi hasilnya nanti
dapat dilihat dengan menggunakan mikroskop cahaya.

Kau: Aku khuatir kau akan bertemu dengan yg lebih aktif dan
bertindak balas dengannya.

Aku: Nampaknya, kita sedang bercinta tiga segi dan haruslah menggunakan
hukum-hukum penyelesaian segi tiga untuk menyelesaikannya.

Kau: Tapi, aku telah memberi cintaku dalam magnitud dan arahnya sekali.
Masihkah kau tidak percaye?

Aku: Ya, aku percaye. Tetapi aku mahu semua itu dalam bentuk lazim.

Kau: Itu semua boleh diabaikan, yang aku mahu ialah tempoh perkahwinan
kita harus mengalami pecutan yg seragam.

Aku: Kau harus bersabar, kerana sabar itu 0.5 dari iman.

Kau: Tapi, imanku adalah infiniti!

Aku: Aku tidak fikir yang iman kau infiniti kerana kau belum mendarabkannya
dengan 6x10'23.

Kau: Kau membuat kemarahanku meruap-ruap. Nanti bila tekanan ku melebihi
tekanan udara, kau jugak yg susah kerana aku akan mengalami hemolisis.

Aku: Aku sekarang bukan aku yg dulu lagi, aku telah mengalami plasmolis.

Kau: Kau betul-tul menyakitkan hatiku ini. Ku sangkakan kau intan, tetapi
rupa-rupanya kau grafit. Pergi kau dari sini. Biarkan aku sendirian........

Tanda 100 hari sebelum mati

Ini adalah tanda pertama dari Allah SWT kepada hambanya dan hanya akan disedari oleh mereka yang dikehendakinya. Walaubagaimanapun semua orang Islam akan mendapat tanda ini cuma samada mereka sedar atau tidak sahaja.Tanda ini akan berlaku lazimnya selepas waktu Asar. Seluruh tubuh iaitu dari hujung rambut sehingga ke hujung kaki akan mengalami getaran atau seakan-akan mengigil. Contohnya seperti daging lembu yang baru saja disembelih dimana jika diperhatikan dengan teliti kita akan mendapati daging tersebut seakan-akan bergetar. Tanda ini rasanya lazat dan bagi mereka yang sedar dan berdetik di hati bahawa mungkin ini adalah tanda mati maka getaran ini akan berhenti dan hilang setelah kita sedar akan kehadiran tanda ini. Bagi mereka yang tidak diberi kesedaran atau mereka yang hanyut dengan kenikmatan tanpa memikirkan soal kematian, tanda ini akan lenyap begitu sahaja tanpa sebarang munafaat. Bagi yang sedar dengan kehadiran tanda ini maka ini adalah peluang terbaik untuk memunafaatkan masa yang ada untuk mempersiapkan diri dengan amalan dan urusan yang akan dibawa atau ditinggalkan sesudah mati.

Tanda 40 hari sebelum hari mati

Tanda ini juga akan berlaku sesudah waktu Asar. Bahagian pusat kita akan berdenyut-denyut. Pada ketika ini daun yang tertulis nama kita akan gugur dari pokok yang letaknya di atas Arash Allah SWT. Maka malaikat maut akan mengambil daun tersebut dan mula membuat persediaannya ke atas kita, antaranya ialah ia akan mula mengikuti kita sepanjang masa. Akan terjadi malaikat maut ini akan memperlihatkan wajahnya sekilas lalu dan jika ini terjadi, mereka yang terpilih ini akan merasakan seakan-akan bingung seketika. Adapun malaikat maut ini wujudnya cuma seorang tetapi kuasanya untuk mencabut nyawa adalah bersamaan dengan jumlah nyawa yang akan dicabutnya.

Tanda 7 hari

Adapun tanda ini akan diberikan hanya kepada mereka yang diuji dengan musibah kesakitan di mana orang sakit yang tidak makan secara tiba-tiba ianya berselera untuk makan.

 

Tanda 3 Hari

Pada ketika ini akan terasa denyutan di bahagian tengah dahi kita iaitu diantara dahi kanan dan kiri. Jika tanda ini dapat dikesan maka berpuasalah kita selepas itu supaya perut kita tidak mengandungi banyak najis dan ini akan memudahkan urusan orang yang akan memandikan kita nanti. Ketika ini juga mata hitam kita tidak akan bersinar lagi dan bagi orang yang sakit hidungnya akan perlahan-lahan jatuh dan ini dapat dikesan jika kita melihatnya dari bahagian sisi. Telinganya akan layu dimana bahagian hujungnya akan beransur-ansur masuk ke dalam. Telapak kakinya yang terlunjur akan perlahan-lahan jatuh ke depan dan sukar ditegakkan.

Tanda 1 Hari

Akan berlaku sesudah waktu Asar di mana kita akan merasakan satu denyutan di sebelah belakang iaitu di kawasan ubun-ubun di mana ini menandakan kita tidak akan sempat untukmenemui waktu Asar keesokan harinya.

Tanda Akhir

Akan berlaku keadaan di mana kita akan merasakan satu keadaan sejuk di bahagian pusat dan ianya akan turun ke pinggang dan seterusnya akan naik ke bahagian halkum. Ketika ini hendaklah kita terus mengucap kalimah syahadah dan berdiam diri dan menantikan kedatangan malaikatmaut untuk menjemput kita kembali kepada Allah SWT yang telah menghidupkan kita dan sekarang akan mematikan pula.

Saling berpesan2lah sesama kita .

Cerita lawak....


Cerita 1

kisah ini berlaku di sempadan....

seorang lelaki sering melintasi sempadan dengan menaiki basikal serta membawa dua guni pasir. perbuatannya itu telah disedari oleh pihak imigresen dan mengesyaki lelaki tersebut membuat kerja penyeludupan.

pihak imigresen pun menahan lelaki tersebut dan bertanya apa yang ada
dalam guni tersebut.. lalu lelaki itu menjawab "pasir encik".
pegawai imigresen tidak percaya lalu membuka guni tersebut. setelah
diperiksa hanya pasir sahaja yang terdapat dalam guni itu.
keesokan harinya lelaki itu membuat kerjanya seperti biasa...
membawa basikal bersama dua guni pasir..
pegawai imigresen masih tidak puas hati lalu menahan lagi lelaki tu..
apabila diperiksa hanya pasir yang terdapat dalam dua guni itu...
setelah 3 tahun berlalu... lelaki itu tidak lagi melakukan kerjanya
yang dulu....
suatu hari pegawai imigresen terjumpa lelaki tadi di kedai kopi....
pegawai imigresen pun bertanya... "sebenarnya apa kerja kamu"?
jawab lelaki itu.... "seludup basikal"......

Cerita 2

Pintu bilik dibuka dengan kuat dan mengejutkan sepasang suami isteri yang sedang tidur nyeyak... Seorang lelaki dengan wajah garang mengacukan senjata tajam ke arah si isteri....

Perompak : "Sebelum kamu mati kubunuh, sebutkan namamu!"
Isteri : "Na... nama sa... saya... Aisyah"
Perompak : "Aisyah? nampaknya sama dengan nama ibuku. Aku tidak boleh membunuhmu," lalu dia mendekati si suami dan sambil mengacukan senjatanya ia berkata,
Perompak : "Sebutkan namamu. Aku mesti tahu nama setiap orang yang menjadi korbanku."
Suami : "Namaku Irwan.. tapi.... semua orang memanggilku Aisyah...."

Cerita 3

Di sebuah Mall yang sesak dengan pengunjung.. ada satu alat pengukur berat badan yang cukup canggih.. Hanya dengan membayar RM 1.00 kita akan diberitahu berapa berat badan kita oleh program komputer. Seorang gadis dan temannya mencuba di tengah kerumunan orang.. Setelah memasukkan wang RM 1.00.. mesin komputer menjawab: "47 kg! "Gadis kedua cubauntuk menimbang, dan mesin komputer menjawab: "52 kg!"

Setelah beberapa minit datang seorang wanita yang cukup gemuk dan montel cubamenimbang dirinya di mesin itu. Setelah memasukkan wang RM 1.00.. mesin komputer mengeluarkan jawapan: "Tolong naik sorang-sorang.. jangan ramai- ramai!"

Cerita 4

JAMAL ke kedai untuk membeli telur yang dipesan ibunya. Ketika berdiri di tepi jalan, dua buah kereta tiba-tiba berlanggar di hadapannya. Dia terkejut dan kaku di situ sehingga polis dan ambulans tiba.

Setelah mangsa dikeluarkan, Jamal berlari pulang dan terlupa membeli telur. Jamal dengan penuh minat menceritakan kemalangan itu pada ibunya.

"Dahsyat bu, kakinya tercabut dan terpelanting ke seberang jalan. Tangannya pulak putus, kepala pecah, perut terburai..."

Tiba-tiba ibunya mencelah, "Telurnya mana?"
Jamal menjawab, "Err.... Mal tak tau pulak ke mana tercampaknya!"

Cerita 5

Samdol pergi ke sebuah pekan untuk membeli buah durian... lalu dia menghampiri seorang penjual buah durian yang merupakan orang asli tempatan...

Samdol :"Bang harga durian ini berapa?"
Org Asli : "yang ini.. sepopit sebiji"

Samdol kebingungan mendengar jawapan dalam bahasa orang asli itu kerana dia tidak memahami berapa nilainya sepopit itu.. lalu Samdol buat2 tahu dan cubamenawarinya..

Samdol : "Bang.. Boleh kurang sikit tak"?
Orang Asli : "Boleh aje, nak kurang berape?
Samdol : "Lahupa.. boleh ya!"

Penjual orang asli itu kebingungan.. lalu bertanya pada Samdol..

Orang Asli : "Lahupa itu berapa?"
Samdol : "Cakap dulu.. Sepopit itu berapa?"

Cerita 6

Terdapat 3 orang gila yg mengambil ujian perlepasan hospital . lalu doktor itu bertanya kepada org gila yg pertama, "apa yg kau mahu bawa jika berada di gurun", orang gila itu menjawab 'payung, sebab kalau panas saya boleh berteduh' . Lalu org gila itu dilepaskan

Doktor itu menanya soalan yg sama kepada org gila kedua, lalu dia menjawab " saya akan bawa air, sebab kalau saya haus saya boleh minum" lalu org gila itu dilepaskan.

Doktor itu menujukan soalan yang sama kepada org gila ketiga lalu dia menjawab" saya akan bawa pintu kereta sebab kalau panas saya boleh menurunkan cermin tingkap..." lalu org gila itu dimasukkan kembali ke hospital"

 

Friday, November 25, 2005

You're Beautiful ~ James Blunt~


You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,

And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you…
: (

me: to someone that i've once admired, during Uni times...^_^
 
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.

6 Etiquettes of Seeking a Spouse:

Muslim conferences and conventions (like the one being held by the Islamic Society of North America & Muslim American Society, Imam W. D. Mohammad, this Labor Day weekend) are just one of the many places Muslims in North America often meet potential spouses either to make a decision or to initiate the marriage communication process.

Other places include fundraising dinners, regional seminars, lectures, at the home of a relative or friend, and the local mosque.

Sadly though, Islamic guidelines pertaining to proper conduct between the sexes are not always respected at these meetings.

It is not uncommon to see or hear about potential candidates meeting in private, brothers and sisters “scoping the territory” for a spouse that looks good at Muslim events like conferences or lectures, or starting up a flirtatious conversation with someone they are interested in. None of these things fall within the guidelines of Islam.

Below are some Islamic principles,both general and specific, to consider if you will be be meeting or seeking a potential spouse for yourself or someone else at a conference, lecture, the mosque or another event:

1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married.

‘Because all of my friends are' is not a legitimate reason. This is a good question to ask even if you are meeting the person to make a final decision because it will be a reminder about the real purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective.

Marriage, from an Islamic perspective, is part of faith and it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).

As well, “my intention should be I am looking for someone with whom I will build a family,” says Imam Muhammad Nur Abdullah of St. Louis, Missouri, a member of the North American Fiqh Council. He has conducted pre-marriage counseling in the U.S. for the last 20 years.

“Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together,” he adds.

2. Ask yourself: what am I looking for in a spouse.

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).

This of course, applies to women as well.

However, religion it seems, is not always foremost in the minds of many people. In fact, it's probably the last factor on too many Muslims' list.

According to Tasneem Qadeer, one of the seven volunteers who runs the Islamic Society of North America's matrimonial service, being a doctor or a lawyer is much more important to many Muslim women than piety.

And the men are not any better. Many matrimonial advertisements for instance, demonstrate a key demand for a wife who is “fair, slim and beautiful”.

“If we want to have healthy Muslim families then Deen has to be first,” says Aneesah Nadir, Director of Social Services for the Arizona Muslim Family Health and Social Services in Tempe.

She is one of the co-developers of the program “Marriage the Islamic way”, which teaches various aspects of marriage such as how to find a spouse, the wedding and the post-wedding marriage relationship with your spouse.

3. If you're looking for a spouse lower your gaze.

This may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. Looking for a spouse who has the right qualities and whom you are physically attracted to does not mean throwing out the obligation to lower the gaze for both sexes and leering or ogling the person.

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do” (Quran 24:30).

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms...” (Quran 24:31).

“Scoping the territory”, from this perspective, would not be Islamically acceptable.

Imam Nur Abdullah notes that looking at a potential mate is recommended according to the Hadith:

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet said: “When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. ...” (Abu Dawud).

This means the two potential spouses can look at each other but not ogle or stare.

Abdullah also notes there is no limit on the number of times the two people can look at each other.

However, both should fear Allah and remember the purpose of this is to satisfy the need for physical attraction to the person you are marrying.

He also notes it is not permissible for a man to see a potential wife without Hijab, since he is not her Mahram (a relative with whom marriage is not possible, or legally her husband). Abdullah says seeing her face and hands are enough to determine attraction.

4. Get someone to help

Marriage is not something to throw yourself into all by yourself. Getting the help of someone, especially parents, relatives, an Imam, and/or respected and trustworthy members of the Muslim community to either look for the right spouse and initiate and participate in a communication process is very important.

In fact, even some non-Muslims have come to see this as a more viable way of meeting someone instead of getting involved in the disappointing dating game or picking someone up in a nightclub or bar.

Involving others, by the way, does not mean signing over your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It simply increases the likelihood of finding out important information about a prospective partner in a way that maintains rules of Islamic modesty (i.e. not meeting alone, see next point).

Getting that third party involved also helps verify if the person you are interested in is decent, honest and respectful. This person(s) often checks out references, asks about the individual's character and behavior, and looks out for your best interest in general.

This person should be a trustworthy Muslim, since you are seeking a Muslim in marriage, and would want someone familiar with the Islamic way of doing things.

For those blessed with Muslim parents, remember that they are probably your best allies and helpers in seeking the right husband or wife. They have known you all of your life, and have your best interest at heart.

However, parents must be open and attentive to what their children are looking for, and never forget the element of choice. Ultimately, it is their son or daughter who is going to make the final decision. They must never become too pushy or aggressive, whether this pressure is being applied on their own son or daughter, or on the person s/he is interested in.

If parents, other family members, an Imam or members of the community are not available, you can also try seeking a husband or wife through the matrimonial services offered by a number of different Muslim organizations.

Always ask for references

This is also where your “third party” comes in handy. Not only will they be able to be your reference. They can also check out a prospective mate's references.

A reference can include an Imam who knows the brother who proposed to you, a sister who knows the woman you may want to marry well, a family friend, a boss, a co-worker, and/or business partner.

A note about honesty and references: the people you ask may know something not very nice about your prospective spouse. Remind them that if they reveal this information, they would not be backbiting from the Islamic perspective. In fact, in the case of seeking marriage, complete information should be given about an individual, both good and bad.

The advice of one of the companions of the Prophet, Umar Ibn al-Khattab can help in this regard:

A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and spoke in praise of another. Umar asked him: “Are you his nearest neighbor such that you know his goings and his comings?”

“No.”

“Have you been his companion on a journey so that you could see evidence of his good character?”

“No.”

“Have you had dealings with him involving dinars and dirhams [money] which would indicate the piety of the man?”

“No.”

“I think you saw him standing in the mosque muttering the Quran and moving his head up and down?”

“Yes.”

“Go, for you do not know him...”

And to the man in question, Umar said, “Go and bring me someone who knows you.”

(quoted from Islam The Natural Way by Abdul Wahid Hamid, p. 66)

This gives you three types of people you can ask about a prospective mate's character: a neighbor, business colleague or someone who has traveled with them.

5. When you meet, don't be alone

Umar related that Rasulullah said: “Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third” (Tirmidhi).

Also, Ibn Abbas related that Rasulullah said: “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative within the prohibited degrees” (Bukhari, Muslim).

Meeting alone, in the hotel room of one or the other potential spouse for example, is forbidden.

The two cannot be in a situation where no one else can see or hear them.

Instead, a discreet, chaperoned meeting should be set up. The chaperone, while allowing the two to talk, is in the same room, for example.

As well, parents or guardians should set a time limit, recommends Winnipeg-based social worker Shahina Siddiqui. A whole day, for example, is too long for this kind of a meeting.

6. When you speak, be businesslike and to the point.

The purpose of meeting and talking to each other must also remain within Islamic guidelines. That means no flirtatious speech of a sexual nature on either side.

Imam Nur Abdullah says some of the topics discussed can include each other's interests, financial situation of the man, who is Islamically responsible for providing for his wife and children, and the two potential spouses' relationship with their parents.

He notes that conversations between potential mates cannot be talking just for the sake of talking. There should be a firm and clear intention of either pursuing engagement and marriage, or, if one of the two or both the man and woman feel they are not compatible, a quick end to the relationship.

This ensures both sides are safe from getting hurt more than they could in this kind of a situation and remain within the bounds of Islam, Insha Allah.

With regards to questions pertaining to a person's sexual history (for example, has s/he had a boy/girlfriend, does s/he have any type of sexually transmitted diseases), Imam Nur Abdullah says these things have to be investigated at the very beginning, when the communication for marriage begins. This is not something that should be brought up at the last stage.

Other topics that should also be discussed at the early stages include level of Islamic knowledge and practice, future career and education plans, home making skills and where the couple will live right after marriage and in the future (state and/or country).

The Imam also says the couple can even get a blood test to ensure both are healthy. Some states even require this before marriage.

Seeking marriage is something highly recommended in Islam. While looking for a potential mate should be something Muslims help each other with, this cannot be done at the expense of Islamic rules pertaining to modesty and respect between the sexes.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

It Comes Back

Lift up someone's spirit, and it will lift your own.

Provide other people with value, and you will increase your wealth.

Spend a little while teaching someone, and you will learn something new.

Praise the work of another, and you will be admired.

Send out your love and love will come to you.

Offer encouragement to those around you, and you'll be more encouraged.

Help others to enjoy the sunlight, and it will shine more brightly on you.

Comfort those who suffer, and your own pain will be eased.

Expect the best of others, and you will see the best in yourself.

Offer your support to the world, and the world will champion your cause.

Live with passion and purpose, and the best things in life will find their way to you.

Today...you can have, be, and do whatever you are willing to give of yourself.

The choice is yours!

Take Charge of yourself: weakness and strengths


A 10-year-old boy decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident. The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?" "This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals. This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue." Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament.

He was the champion. On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind. "Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?" "You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm." The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

"Sometimes we feel that we have certain weaknesses and we blame god, the circumstances and our self for it but we never know that our weakness can become our strength one day. Each of us is special and important, so never think you have any weakness, never think of pride or pain, just live your life to its fullest and extract the best out of it!"

You are...when you are...when you say you are...!

So...choose la...what we want to be.... ;)
 
You are strong... when you take your grief and teach it to smile.

You are brave... when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same.

You are happy... when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.

You are loving... when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.

You are wise... when you know the limits of your wisdom.

You are true... when you admit there are times you fool yourself.

You are alive... when tomorrow's hope means more to you than yesterday's mistake.

You are growing... when you know what you are but not what you will become.

You are free... when you are in control of yourself and do not wish to control others.

You are honorable... when you find your honor is to honor others.

You are generous... when you can take as sweetly as you can give.

You are humble... when you do not know how humble you are.

You are thoughtful... when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are.

You are merciful... when you forgive in others the faults you condemn in yourself.

You are beautiful... when you don't need a mirror to tell you.

You are rich... when you never need more than what you have.

You are you... when you are at peace with who you are not.

**********
NISHA NAIR

10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known


I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria Shriver has come out with a book called, "Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before Going Into The Real World." The real world? Come on, she grew up a Kennedy and married the biggest action movie star of all time! That aside, it got me to thinking:

What are ten things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here they are…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Life isn't fair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know, your mother always told you this but as kids we never believe it. We think that somehow mom was two tacos short of a combo plate and that eventually we will go into the real world and show her how those who work hard and do right always do come out on top. Then after about five years we become disenchanted and start to smell the coffee. Life isn't fair! Why didn't anybody tell me that? I guess they did, didn't they? Unfortunately, sometimes the bad guys wins. Sometimes people die early. We shouldn't take this lightly, but we must be realists. While we accept what comes our way, we still strive to work hard, dream big, and do right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. People play favorites.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is true that it isn't what you know but who you know that counts. This is because people play favorites. Sometimes it doesn't matter that you are the best person or have the lowest bid. People will regularly cut deals with people they like or who can scratch their back in return. I guess the lesson to learn is that while we strive to achieve much and have excellent skills, we should also develop a strong network of healthy relationships.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. People will let you down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being a person who does what he says can be a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I am able to look at myself in the mirror each day. It is a curse because if you are like that, you will most likely expect that from others and yet they will regularly let you down. People can be bad at keeping their word or doing what is right. I could have relieved a lot of emotional stress if
I would have known this one before getting out into the real world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. Not everybody wants to grow personally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just assumed that everybody loved to learn and to grow. I thought everybody wanted to get better at what they did. The reality is, however, that most people do not. That is why there is something that we call "average." Most people want to stay where they are. That is why they do. Those who strive to go forward will always be cutting against the grain and will often be resented, even if quietly, for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. The stock market goes down sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some of you older folks knew this. But us young whippersnappers, we have been riding it high on the hog for a while. This is good in a sense, but unless you have some common sense of how financial markets work, you can get quite a shock from time to tie. You see, before you get into the real world, everything gets handed to you and you really don't have to work for much. Then you do and you think that every investment will turn out grand – whoops!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was always a little "pudgy." Nothing big, just not like the cover guys of Men's Health Magazine (You know, the ones that say "Six-pack abs in 20 minutes a day." I think that means they only eat twenty minutes a day, and it is usually stewed vegetables! But I digress…). If I would have known better, I would have worked harder when I was younger to keep the weight off so I wouldn't have to work that much harder now!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. Marriage is work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A good marriage is more work. When you are young you think, "I'll find the girl of my dreams and we'll live happily ever after." Well, hello! You forget that your spouse is human and you are too, most of the time! To live under the same roof with someone and to work out likes and dislikes, personalities, and schedules, not to mention life goals and the like is HARD WORK! Not drudgery, just work. Yes, there will be plenty of bliss and joy, but marriage will make
you work for it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. It takes longer to get out of debt than to get into it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have never really had much debt. I did take out student loans to pay for school and wow, do they take a long time to get out of. Fortunately I have them paid off but for a while there, it was one of the big checks we wrote every month. Many people think credit cards are great because they can have what they want when they want it. Too bad they don't realize that twenty minutes of
shopping ecstasy will result in months or years of payments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. It doesn't work to try to please others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have always wanted people to like me. Many times, I wanted them to like me too much. That isn't good. This doesn't work because I realized that most of the time, people liking or disliking you has nothing to do whatsoever with rational thought. Some people will dislike you, no matter how well you have done, and others will love you, warts and all. So I do my best and let the chips fall where they may – now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. You need to tend to your spiritual, emotional, and physical health or you will crash hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you don't take time for yourself, both inwardly and outwardly, your body will catch up with you. You can take time for yourself by choice or not. It is much more fun by choice! Life is hard and it can and will weigh you down. We need to tend the fires of spirit and mind while keeping our physical bodies tuned forsuccess as well. If not, our bodies break down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10.5. Bonus: In spite of the above, life is very much worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some of the above may seem like bummers. They aren't the "positive" things we like to focus on, but they are true. Being positive doesn't mean sticking your head in the ground in order to avoid the negative of life. What it means is that we are realists who understand the negative aspects of life and choose to be optimists instead. We deal with the negative and pursue the positive. That is why I can say that life is worth living no matter how expensive or painful the
lessons I have had to learn have been. Life is good and I can make it better!

So I had to learn some lessons AFTER I got into the real world. So what? At least I learned them and can live the rest of my life to the fullest from now on! I hope you can too!

Qoutes of November!!!




 --------------**************--------------**************--------------
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80%
                          are glad you have them.
-Lou Holtz > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Never explain yourself. Your friends dont need it and your enemies
wont believe it. -Belgicia Howell > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names. -John F.
Kennedy > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast
is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you
lose the value of everything. -Philippos > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him
absolutely no good. -Ann Landers > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the
wrong ones. -Philippos > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat
you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your
heart will consume you too. -Will Smith > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
If your problem has a solution then...why worry about it? If your
problem doesnt have solution then...why worry about it? -Chinese Proverb > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you
can't change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances,
give everything and have no regrets. Life's too short to be anything
but happy > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge
and controversy. -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Pain never really goes away; you just elevate and get used to it by
growing stronger. -Philippos > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what
you've got, remember what you had, learn from your mistakes, but
never regret, people change, things go wrong, but remember life goes on! > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts
you, it probably hurts the person too. > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Sometimes the people who hurt us the most are people who were hurt
more than us. -Philippos > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
Our tears are what happens when it rains deep inside our hearts and
we cannot hold the rain any longer. -Philippos > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
I like to pretend that everything's alright. Because when everybody
else thinks you're fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you're not. > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
"Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God
And angels know of us." -Thomas Paine > >
--------------**************--------------**************--------------
The things that made me stronger are the ones that didnt let me sleep
at first. -Anonymous
> >

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Hadeeth of the day: Shoes

Volume 7, Number 747:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle (salla llahu alayhi wa sallam) said,
 
"If you want to put on your shoes, put on the right shoe first; and if you want to take them off, take the left one first. Let the right shoe be the first to be put on and the last to be taken off."
 
(sahih Bukhari)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Haiwan & Zodiak - kenali diri

Haiwan & Zodiak 
Tahukah kamu bahawa tarikh lahir mu juga boleh disesuaikan dengan kelompok haiwan seperti arnab, tikus, singa, kucing, merpati, penyu, harimau kumbang dan monyet. Ingin mengenali diri kamu dengan lebih dekat? Caranya mudah sahaja, kenal pasti bilakah tarikh lahir mu serta lihat kesesuaian haiwan seperti yang telah dikategorikan di bawah!
Mmm... pasti kamu akan mengenali diri kamu dengan lebih mendalam selepas ini!

KUCING
01 - 05 Februari
24 - 31 Mac
25 - 30 Jun
27 - 31 Julai
15 - 27 September
17 - 30 November

TIKUS
10 - 24 Januari
16 - 23 Mac
15 - 26 April
01 - 03 Jun
01 - 09 Julai
16 - 25 Ogos

ARNAB
01 - 09 Januari
01 - 03 April
15 - 20 Jun
10 - 15 Julai
28 - 30 September
01 - 16 Disember
SINGA
25 - 31 Januari
13 - 15 Mac
22 - 31 Mei
01 - 16 November
MERPATI
06 - 14 Februari
14 - 21 Mei
16 - 26 Julai
01 - 14 September
26 - 31 Disember
PENYU
15 - 21 Februari
27 - 30 April
04 - 14 Jun
26 - 31 Ogos
16 - 27 Oktober
MONYET
01 - 12 Mac
01 - 13 Mei
21 - 24 Jun
01 - 15 Ogos
01 - 15 Oktober
17 - 25 Disember
HARIMAU KUMBANG
22 - 28 Februari
04 - 14 April
28 - 31 Oktober
>ARNAB
>Individu yang tergolong dalam kategori ini ternyata memiliki penampilan
>yang menarik dan kebiasaannya popular di kalangan teman-teman. Sikap mu
>yang mudah bergaul menjadikan kamu antara individu yang mudah didekati dan bijak berkomunikasi dengan sesiapa sahaja tanpa mengira batasan usia
>mahupun bangsa. Sikap tenang dan bijak yang sememangnya jelas ada pada diri kamu itu juga sering mendapat perhatian ramai dan tidak hairanlah sekiranya kamu sering dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menjadi ketua dalam melaksanakan sesuatu tugasan secara berkumpulan.
 
>KUCING
>Pemalu dan comel, itulah karakter yang mampu dilihat dengan jelas pada
>individu yang terdiri dari kelompok ini. Adakalanya individu ini lebih
>gemar mengikut orang lain dan kurang gemar untuk memulakan bicara atau
>berbual dengan individu yang tidak di kenalinya. Mereka juga terlalu
>berhati-hati dalam memilih teman. Dari sudut pandangan lain, ternyata
>individu dari kategori ini sentiasa bersikap baik hati kepada sesiapa
>sahaja.
>MONYET
>Keperibadian individu dari kategori ini sentiasa menarik perhatian ramai.
>Kamu juga sentiasa memiliki perwatakan yang ceria dan agresif. Sikap ceria
>itu telah menarik minat ramai orang di sekeliling mu untuk menjalinkan
>ikatan per sahabatan dengan mu. Tidak hairanlah sekiranya individu dari
>kategori ini memiliki ramai teman dan sentiasa bijak menyesuaikan diri
>walau dalam apa jua keadaan sekali pun. Walau bagaimanapun, sikap kamu yang gemar bergosip ada kalanya agak kurang menyenangkan sesetengah pihak. Bagi kamu, itu semua tidak penting! Prinsip hidup kamu, ?hidup mesti ceria!?
Selain itu kamu juga gemar menarik perhatian orang di sekeliling dan
>sentiasa ingin menjadi ketua dalam melaksanakan sesuatu perkara.

HARIMAU KUMBANG
>Sikap misteri mu agak menggusarkan orang di sekeliling mu. Walau
>bagaimanapun kamu tetap memiliki ramai teman. Emosi mu yang sering
>berubah-ubah menjadikan individu di sekeliling mu sentiasa berhati-hati
>ketika bersama dengan mu. Selain itu, kamu juga sering dikaitkan dengan
>pelbagai gosip. Berdasarkan keperibadian yang kamu miliki, ternyata kamu
>sesuai memikul tanggungjawab sebagai seorang ketua.

TIKUS
>?Diam-diam ubi berisi? itulah gambaran terdekat mengenai keperibadian mu.
>Kamu dikenali sebagai cekap dalam melaksanakan sesuatu tugasan yang
>diberikan. Sikap terlalu pemalu yang ada dalam diri mu itu harus
>dikurangkan. Selain itu, sikap kamu yang kelakar dan comel sentiasa menarik perhatian individu di sekeliling mu. Walaupun kamu tidak tergolong dalam kelompok kumpulan popular, dirimu tetap dikenali ramai.

SINGA
>Kamu memang dilahirkan sebagai pemimpin. Indivdiu di sekeliling mu sentiasa
>berasa selamat bila berdampingan dengan mu. Kamu juga memiliki ramai teman dan berpewatakan menarik. Sikap peramah dan mesra yang sememangnya wujud secara semula jadi dalam diri mu telah menarik ramai orang untuk bersahabat dengan mu, maka tidak hairanlah sekiranya kamu memiliki teman baru saban hari.

PENYU
>Sikap lemah lembut dan baik hati memang ada dalam diri kamu. Namun, ada
>sesetengah pihak agak kurang senang hati dengan sikap mu kerana kamu sering menilai kehendak dan keinginan orang lain hanya berdasarkan persepsi
>pemikiran diri kamu sendiri. Walau bagaimanapun kamu adalah seorang teman yang dan tidak bersikap seperti ?talam dua muka?.
MERPATI
>Kamu terlalu mudah untuk jatuh cinta. Kamu juga tergolong dalam kategori
>individu yang sentiasa bersikap tenang. Sememangnya kamu bukannya dari
>kalangan individu yang terlalu pemalu, namun kamu lebih gemar bersikap
>menyendiri dalam kehidupan harian mu.

My Babbling

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